Individual Picture
To be honest with you I have never had a good school picture, and this year wasn't different. As I joined the queue, I had felt the urge to sneeze but it went away. We parted into different lines and I get a lazy photographer, great! There is only one person ahead of me and they are going up now. After what seemed like an eternity, it's my turn.
I sit down and the photographer says, "Say cheese!"
Right before I say cheese, I let a big sneeze and the photographer got my sneeze face. Of course, the photographer didn't let me do a re-take.
I like your story but maybe you can a bit more details and use a thesaurus but overall I like it
ReplyDeleteyour story is good. And I like how you used different sentence starters. But maybe you should`ve used some powerful words. But other than that, I liked your story.
ReplyDeleteyour story is good. And I like how you used different sentence starters. But maybe you should`ve used some powerful words. But other than that, I liked your story.
ReplyDeleteI really like your story, I can relate! You could use different sentence starters, instead of The or We. Other than that, your story is really good!
ReplyDeleteA very creative idea for your story this week. I agree that you could use more powerful language. For example, instead of …photographer got my sneeze…could you replace got with a better work?
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your story Mr Einstein- your introductory sentence really grabbed my attention.
ReplyDeletePerhaps you could use commas to make some longer sentences for your next story. What happened with your previous photos?